Let me start with an apology. I haven't written much recently. I have book reviews to catch up with, but, in all honesty and putting myself out there, I lost my voice. Not literally but life has been pretty tough the last few months and I just felt like I had nothing interesting to say. This has come to a head the past few days with one massive disaster after another but, weirdly, I actually feel better today despite the big disasters.
I'm not going to go into details here because, frankly, it's boring, I'm bored and fed up with it all so I have no intention of dragging down you lovely people too. My natural state when things are going wrong is to totally withdraw and shut myself away with just my books for company but this is something I am working on.
And this brings me on to the "spinning plates" thought that came to me earlier today. I realised something that I think might apply to every single one of us if we are honest.
My life consists of spinning plates, and, you know what, on the whole I am pretty good at spinning them. Lots of different plates spinning all at the same time. I can keep them all up and balanced all by myself.
But then along come outside things that I have absolutely no control over and that I can't stop. Curve balls in every sense of the word, not caused by anything I've done, but mostly caused by a system that conspires against people (that's a post for another day!). These things come crashing into the sticks, often multiple at the same time, making those plates come crashing to the ground causing them to smash to pieces.
And although it totally feels like my fault, and a gigantic failure on my part, and makes me question everything I am doing THIS IS NOT MY FAULT! I was spinning all those plates pretty awesomely in the first place. I was controlling every single one. And I have no control over what happens around me. So I need to just accept the breakages as part of life, and accept that they happen in spite of everything I am doing to keep those plates spinning.
It's okay to be vulnerable and need help to replace the broken plates so that I can start spinning them all again in my unique way. It's okay to need help. It's okay to let myself off the hook and LET people help.
This was a huge revelation to me today!
So I guess I can sum up by saying always remember that you are incredible for keeping those plates spinning in the first place! And for resuming the spinning after it all comes crashing down! You got this! Just let other people in to help you replace the plates!!